Selfless Love

You love me more than I love you

You give freely, I take wanting more.

I’m only there when I need you, you will never leave.

I turn my back when I don’t get my way, but your grace always welcomes me home

My empty promises are too many to count; your faithfulness has already been proven

No lie will ever leave your lips.

No pain will I feel from the works of your hands

You love me more than life itself

Song of Regret

I know you’re on the outside wanting to come in.
But I’m afraid to open the door.

I can’t let you see me like this
What you created I destroyed, all you’ve given has gone to waste.
My heart’s a mess, my life unclean.
You deserve so much more.

You said it doesn’t matter because you’re here to make it right.
You’ll mend the brokenness inside me,
and wipe my tears away

You told me not to worry because you have so much more to give.
Your hands are never empty,
and your blessings will never cease

You said you don’t mind you’ve seen much worse.
I’m not the first to fall.

But my hand, still hesitates, at the latch.

The Wedding Planner

I met with the wedding planners today, they're really nice and gave a lot of ideas and things to think about. James is coming over on Thursday, its our anniversary. Im not sure what i'm going to make. It will give us a chnace to talk more about the wedding and discuss a budget, which we havent done yet (its terrible i know).

Well I've got connect group tomorrow and Joel, my friend who I co host with, wont be able to make it so it'll give us a chance to go to Erin, the Turkish cafe we went to last month. Its a great location, had I known it was there we would have used it instead of going to Nandos, which can get boring after a while. There are only so many time you can have a quarter chicken with 2 sidelines (chips and corn on the cob). There's nothing else I want to eat when I'm there. Unless you want a salad, some wings or a burger, there isnt so much variety, in my opinion.

Well got to go now, Night.

In Remembrance of You

My fingers tremble as I eat this broken bread
Its cold and dry but somehow warms my soul.
It stings my tongue, but tastes so sweet.
My eyes swell, tears fall like drops of rain into my cup.
The wine ripples, letting off a delicate aroma
I think of you and know its alright.

SHORTS: The Prodigy

“Benjamin started playing when he was five, we don’t know where he gets it from.” Benjie had heard these words countless times. His mother loved talking about how talented he was; she never missed an opportunity to let everyone know her son was a musical prodigy.

It all started, as his mother said, when he was five. His father had bought a piano; it was very old but sounded like new.

Benjie stood in front of it and just stared. There was something about the piano that beckoned to him, told him to play. He took a seat and lifted up the lid, his eyes rapidly moved up and down the keys, they were breathtaking.

His fingers trembled, as they got closer to the piano keys. The moment they made contact, he lost all control; playing a melody he had heard on the television, he didn’t know what it was but always liked it.

His father came running into the living room, his jaw dropped; he didn’t expect to see his Benjie seated at the piano. “Martha, come quick.”

“What is it George,” she said. She had been washing the dishes and came in the room holding a wet plate. The plate landed on the floor in five pieces, Benjamin’s mother stood in awe.

Next he played ‘Twinkle Twinkle’, then ‘Hot Crossed Buns’, he couldn’t stop. He kept playing all night long, his parents called all the neighbours to see their son. They shouted requests and Benji played them effortlessly.

He was an overnight star; nothing was the same again. Everyone wanted to hear him play; tonight it was the turn of the president. Benjie was to play the closing number at the National Orchestral Charity Gala. An annual classical music festival held to raise money to keep the arts alive.

Benji’s time had come, there was a round of applause as he appeared on stage, cameras flashed, the president nodded his approval and his parents beamed in the front row.

A piano stood in the middle of the stage, but Benji walked right passed it, there was a murmur from the stalls, his mother and father looked at each and shrugged.

At the end of the stage, stood a microphone, Benji lowered the stand and cleared his throat. A hush swept across the auditorium, Benji smiled at his parents who were now as pale as the whitest sheets.

He licked his lips then said, “For over 10 years I’ve played for numerous people all over the world. The piano has become my life; I eat, sleep and breathe playing it. I’ve played songs after only hearing them once and till this day I am unable to actually read music.” There were a few oohs and aahs from the audience, Benji lifted up his hand to silence them.

“From the day my father brought a piano home I’ve had this unexplainable urge to play, but alas that urge has gone. I don’t want to play anymore.” Benji stepped back from the microphone bowed to the president, then to his parents and walked off the stage.

His mother was hysterical, his father called out to him, but Benji kept walking and didn’t stop, even when he got outside. Benji didn’t know where he was going; he just let his feet take him wherever they wanted to go.

Dehydration: or so i thought

I was reading a paper yesterday an there was an article in the paper about head problems, namely headaches. It gave a description of what a migraine was and I discovered that what I thought was dehydration was actually a migraine. You learn something knew everyday.

Hillsong Conference 2006

On Thursday 28th-Saturday 30th of September, Hillsong church London had its first conference. It was amazing, there were alot of people, great speakers, and volunteers full of the servant heart. I was volunteering so go to attend some of the sessions, my favourite has to have been Brian Houston on the last night. Everyone was anointed with oil, the Holy Spirit was seriously moving in that place.

I had been looking forward to the conference, when it came I felt so privelleged to be part of the beginning of something so great. Im excited about the posibilities, just think in 2010, there's every chance we could have 30,000 delegates in somewhere like Wembley Stadium. It could happen.

Long Time

Hey its been a while hasnt it. Well, just got wireless broadband. Hopefully I want have any problems with the net now and so wont be away for so long. Alot has happened, updates coming up.

Go to bed

Isnt it really annoying when it's late and you know you should go to bed but you can't. Because you you do you'll remember that site you wanted to check out or the message you wanted to put on your blog.

ATM Users Beware

On wednesday 16th August, James and I went to check out some venues for the reception. I wanted to check if I had been paid as I was considering paying for the deposit at a venue that James had already seen.

So off I go to the cash machine, expecting to see upto £600 in my account, when I pring the balance £235 is staring back at me. That's way less than what I was paid, so I print out aa mini-statement and see that my pay did go through.

I'm little confused and think maybe I spent more than I realised last week, then suddenly I see £300 on the statement. Now I dont usually print out mini-statements so I didnt know if the £300 was going in or coming out.

I go inside the bank and after about 20 or so minutes, get to see an advisor. I showed her the statement and she said it meant that money had been taken out. Shock, Horror, my heart was pounding because there is absoulutely know way that I would take out £300, I would even take out £90 unless I really had to.

The lady in the bank prints off a statement of transactions for the past 4 weeks and even she said that the £300 stands out, all my other withdrawals are for £10 or £20. Apart from one, I noticed that on the 3rd August £100 had been taken out, that wasnt me either. The strange thing about this transaction was, it occured 1 min after I withdrew £20. Now, I know that wasnt me. I remember that day, the £20 was for my bus pass, I can think of no reason why I would need £100. Believe me, if I soent £100 on something I would remember.

So I had to cancel my card and fill in a report, all my plans were messed up. I wanted to buy a really nice bustier (i think thats how you spell it) for the Summer Ball, and get my hair done at the hair dressers. I went for a dress instead (which was really nice) and got my sister to trim my hair.

Im still waiting to hear about what they're going to do, I have to get my money back, if not it means I wont be able to go to Nigeria.

I am extreamly careful when I take money out, and I know these things happen and how cared cloning works, still it happend to me.

SO PLEASE BE CAREFUL.

SHORTS: The Interview

Billy had been waiting for this for so long, the interview that would make or break him. Get the job and he would be set up for life, money would not be an issue anymore. Failure was not an option, he did not just want this job he needed it, I mean really needed it.

This was one of the biggest company’s in the industry; Billy could be one of the big boys by the end of the week.

The post had come up three months ago, the moment he saw it his heart skipped a beat. The next day he quit his job, it was quiet exhilarating actual, being able to tell his boss what he really thought of him, gloating about how he would be earning more than he does in a year. Everyone watched as he danced around the office singing ‘The only way is up…’

Everything had to be right, breakfast, filling but not too heavy. Hair, sleek and under control. Clothes, tailor-made at Saville Rowe. Shoes, Italian. Billy looked in the mirror and gave himself the wink and the gun, “Perfect.”

At 9am he left his house, the sun was out and the sky was clear. Rays of sun reflected off the midnight blue Mercedes he had rented for the day; this car was the finishing touch.

The drive there made him feel like a celebrity, no better than a celebrity, he felt like a million dollar man. Everyone watched him cruise up to the traffic lights, their envious stares made Billy warm up inside. What would they say if they knew that he had to clear out his savings just to look this good, well Billy didn’t care, it was worth it.

At 9:35am he pulled into the car park and found a spot a few yards from the main entrance, he turned off the ignition and sat just there. Billy wanted to gather his thoughts and go over his flash cards. Each one had the perfect answer to practically any question he could be asked. He looked in the rear view mirror, and watched himself, every smile; tilt of the head and laugh had been practiced to perfection. There was no reason why they would not want to take him on board.

9:45am it was time to go in. Billy took his time as he approached the reception desk, wanting to keep cool at all times. The receptionist looked up and smiled,

“Hi can I help you?”
“Yes my name is Billy Sax I have an interview at 10am with Peter Faulks”
“You have an interview today?”
“Yes”
“With Mr. Faulks?”
“Yes,” said Billy “10am on the 11th”
“Ok,” the reception tapped at her keyboard, then glanced up at Billy. “You said your name was Billy Sax right?”
“Yes, is there a problem?”
“I’m afraid so Mr. Sax, it seems your interview was for the 11am on the 10th, yesterday.”

Picnic in the Park

Today as part of the Month of Parties at church, there was a Sports Tournament and Family Fun Day at Battersea park. I took my niece along and my sister followed much later (she arrived around 4:30pm).

I didnt realise that the park was so big, we arrived at Chelsae gate and took the main path until we got to a sign saying 'Events Area'. I thought 'this is a likely location', so we continued on and in the distance I saw a group people 'great', I thought. Though as I got closer it became clear that the crowd I saw was members of the public around some pond.

I had to call my sister to find out where everyone was meeting (they where actually by Albert gate). Eventually we got there and tucked into the picnic.

I was quite tired by this time, a word of advice to anyone travelling with small children.
DONT let them take along their scooter or bike, because you'll end up pushing the thing
everywhere, with a handful of shopping, and they'll stroll along nonchanlantly complaining that no one is going to turn up.

Well anyway it was a good day, my niece didnt play as much as I thought she would (she was a little shy as she didnt know the other kids), though we did play a parachute game and she took part in a watermelon eating competition.

We played a catch until my sis arrived, then they played football with each other and were joined by another little girl.

My niece said she enjoyed herself, she fell asleep on the bus home and didnt want to take of the face paint. It was a Butterfly.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Yesterday night I wathced Buffy the vampire slayer, not the one with Sarah Michelle Geller, no. The original one, the movie. I remember the first time I saw it I must have been about 12 and I thought it was an good film, how immature. Wathching it last night I couldnt believe the lame joke I thought were funny, especially at the end with that vampire that takes forever to die.

Buffy herself is so different from the character portrayed by Geller, and the Giles character (known as Merrick in the film), is some middle aged guy that's supposed to train the slayers while wearing a trench coat, scarf and hat.

I dont know why I'm complaining really, I dont even like Buffy, and dont even get me started on Angel, that's another show that should never have started. I guess it's just weird how your perceptions of what's cool, funny and exciting changes over the years, and you dont realise until you're presented with some airheaded Xena wannabe that you used to think was cool.